1/15/24:
(11:31pm) Avery wants me to write here everyday. I'm not sure why, but she seems pretty dead-set on it being done
1/16/24:
(07:58am) She was forced into wearing a coat today, and was told to do so again later. She's definitely not going to, half because she was told to, as an act of independence, and half because she gets a disturbing high off of it. She seems to be in some kind of competition with herself, one that is definitely going to end with her hurt.
(08:31am) At least she seems happy, tired too, but happy.
(08/38am) An advantage of myself writing instead of her is that it can be done whenever, without the need of neocities, which still adamantly refuses to work outside of her home, a doing of mine done in the hopes of protecting her more personal stories from people she knows irl, though I have a feeling she wouldn't see it that way. At least a part of her really does want to be seen; she loves it when the numbers go up, and gets worried when their ascent slows.
(09:26am) She says her head hurts. There is very little I can do with this information.
1/17/24:
(08:39am) She's feeling pretty anxious today, an assignment or two seem to always make their way back to the forefront of her thoughts. It worries me but I know she'll be okay; she's been through far worse.
(11:15pm) Is it wrong to be so dependant on someone?
1/18/24
(10:07pm) Today was quite stressful for Avery, she lost her phone. She got quite mad at me for not noticing before she did. "How did you even miss it? You see everything I do, I know you must have seen it. How can you not help me?" I didn't like today.
1/19/24
(9:35pm) She found it today, she thanked a being(?) called Icks (or maybe Ix?) for finding it. She talks to it every once in a while, although I've never seen it. If I had to guess it's comparable to an incarnation of fate. For as long as she likes it, I guess I will as well.
1/20/24
(9:51pm) Today was calming and quite inspirational, Avery finished a game she had been admiring for a while and seemed to be pretty moved by it. I quite liked the ending as well. ThoughI do worry that she might not stop talking about it for the next few days. Not many enjoy that, although I'm sure Z---- will listen anyways.
1/21/24
(7:12pm) I would give a more proper report on today, but I'm currently in the middle of helping Avery through an... episode. I would be more worried but she's always sprung back pretty quickly (with an exeption, but that was a long time ago). Until then, I'll do what I can to help, even if such a thing doesn't exist.
1/22/24
(5:23pm) Avery said she was feeling better today, so so am I. I do hope that she'll sleep tonight. She always jokes that she won't whenever she has a lot of work to do. Though I don't need sleep I also don't like seeing her struggle and force herself to stay awake. I really do wish I could do more to help her.
1/23/24
(6:30am) I pulled a few strings and worsened the weather enough for a snow day, Avery is recovering.
1/24/24
(5:24pm) Avery said she's been remembering her dreams more often, I think that's a good sign (maybe?). She should be about as stressed out as usual, but she seems to be handling better than normal. Although I have a feeling I know why, I don't regret my decision.
1/25/24
(10:23pm) Nothing out of the ordinary today, my sisyphean journey of protection continues.
1/26/24
(??:??xm) .........
1/27/24
(??:??xm) ......
1/28/24
(??:??xm) ...
1/29/24
(9:99xm) I... woke up(?) today, I don't sleep. I woke up to Avery crying a few feet away from me. My head hurts(?), I don't feel pain. I can't think well right now
1/30/2024
(9:23pm) I asked Avery what happened, she said it was like I died; I didn't move, I didn't talk to her. I don't... I don't... ... I can't handle more right now.
1/31/24
(7:23am) I have a natural tendency to wonder; I can't help but feel like my blackout had a rational cause behind it. Oh, and Avery's doing alright. Where to start my research...
2/1/24
(11:27pm) No leads yet, aside from that, there's little else of interest to talk about.
2/2/24
(11:39pm) Same story as yesterday, but I feel like I'll find something soon. Now that I think about it... I haven't seen Avery today, have I? I should probably check on her.
(11:42pm) She's asleep, while normally this would be odd for her, it is a friday.
2/3/24
(12:30pm) Avery's feeling anxious today, something I'm not qualified to talk about the specifics of. My research continues.
2/4/24
(8:27pm) Today is the same as yesterday was, minus the anxiety thing. My research continues.
2/5/24
(2:54pm) Avery seems moody today, not sure why. I don't think I'll ask, she'd probably feel insulted
(10:34pm) There's so much to look into, so many avenues to go down. I really am enjoying this. My research continues.
2/6/24
(3:12pm) Little new of note. My research continues.
2/7/24
(6:45pm) Avery seems unhappy and stressed to a usual degree today. She told me that she wasn't feeling okay, but that she has a plan to fix it. I trust her planning, whatever it may be, I'm certain it will work. My research continues
2/8/24
(5:01pm) A typical day, I haven't seen Avery today, but I'll check later. My research continues
(11:59pm) Just missed her again, her breathing was oddly fast for being asleep. I'll check on her in the morning
2/9/24
(9:59am) Avery killed herself today.
Now, I know, and I can finally fade into nonexistence.
This isnt what I wanted.
But now I see that never mattered.